Monday, 9 March 2009
Guest Reviewer- Mehmet Hussein-Nicky’s Café and Sandwich Bar AKA ‘Phelpsy’s’- 8 WELL STREET LONDON E9 7PX
and he's been banging on about this place for ages. They all call it
'Phelpsy's' because Olympic swimming legend Michael Phelps- who
munches down 12,000-calories every day- wouldn't be able to cope with
the immense portions of this establishment. I had a bit of time to
kill while the boy replaced the Carburettor on my 'Autumn- beige' S-
Class, 1987, Mercedes Benz so I went over to test my belly.
I'd been recommended the homemade Chicken Escalopes on a crusty roll
with Cheese, Salad, Mayo and Chilli sauce. I'd also been warned to
keep an eye on them when they were applying the mayo because they have
a habit of 'Phelpsing it up too hard!' They weren't wrong! The bird
slapped on 2 fat table- spoons of mayo. The Missus has told me that my
expanding waistline is affecting her sexual arousal so I asked them to
scrape a bit of Mayo off. They did.
I sat down and they brought me a perfectly coloured cup of tea to go
with my sarnies. I tucked in. What can I say! A true blinder! The
escalope had just been fried so was still warm and crunchy. The crusty
roll had just the right level of resistance. And all for £2.80!!
That's a Credit Crunch Munch!
While I was eating I had a bit banter with Moustafa the owner. He's a
Chelsea fan like my best mate Effendi. I told him my Chelsea joke-
"What's the similarity between Kathy from Eastenders and Roman
Abramovich? - They both fucked Phil and Grant!" He laughed. I told him
he could have that one.
Word of warning. One of the ladies who work in there- the slightly
slimmer of the two- wears a particularly strong perfume. Youssef has
told me that from time to time his sandwiches taste a bit like her.
Some of you might find that disgusting, me- I'm a fan of a well-
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Posted by Melvin Smack & Rajesh Thappar